Caregivers

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Comment by Joana Simmers/GA 1 day ago

Talked to my Mother this morning. My Dad's Medicare Advantage company sent someone out to re-evaluate him for continued at home care. He was having a good day, was quite perky, and told them he was just fine and didn't need anybody coming in. She is pretty sure that they are going to stop paying for his care. I don't know how this is going to work or what say his doctor will have about his need for care. My Dad has become totally uncooperative with the physical therapist.

Comment by Linda "Sue" Robertson, TN 1 day ago

I just want all of you to know my prayers are with you and my heartstrings. Handstitcher, so glad your dads surgery went well. You are all amazing women, that God has entrusted with His precious Jewels. Your sacrifices will never go unnoticed by God. And your tears, when those days come and I know they do, when the burden seems too much, remember Psalm 56 vs 8. God puts our tears in a bottle and records them. Our tears are like the sparrow, one tear doesn't fall that God is not aware of it nor does one sparrow fall to the ground that God doesn't know it. God Bless Each One Of You Today and may He pour our His Spirit Upon Your Hearts, Blessings, my sisters!!

Comment by B J Elder/WA 1 day ago

Joana, you are so right. I can only imagine how frightening it must be for those with dementia, especially at the stage of your aunt. I keep reminding myself that I am the one with the choice of how to react and speak and handle situations.... they do not have that privilege or control. It helps me when mom is repeating for the 100th time the same thing or asking the same question over and over and over or...... you know, as you have been there too. It is not a choice they made, it's the situation they are in.... so we love them and try to help as best we can to alleviate the fear.

Comment by Joana Simmers/GA 1 day ago

I'm so glad your Dad's surgery went well and he is back in his own bed. If you think about how frightening it would be to be "lost," you can see why it would be so upsetting--imagine it. My aunt has reached the stage where even home is unfamiliar--she has been in the hospital for weeks now with her third surgery in as many months. It's heartbreaking because she is so afraid and in so much pain.

Comment by Karin Thomsen, Maywood, NJ 1 day ago

giving thanks for your Dad's surgery outcome...will continue to lift him up till he is completely recovered!

Comment by handstitcher/IL 1 day ago

Thanks, BJ. They were able to do the labroscopic surgery, so he was released early afternoon. We took him back to his place and got him settled in bed. The staff took him his dinner. I think a few days to rest after the anesthesia will work wonders although he may not be moving too quickly. Otherwise, there's no restrictions. Fortunately, I was home in time for my daughter's parent-teacher conference and then to host the girl scout meeting at my house. A very full day!

Comment by B J Elder/WA on November 19, 2009 at 5:21pm

I'm so glad your dad came through the surgery fine. I think now is the hard part of it. How long will they keep him in the hospital, or is he home already? Will continue to be praying for you.

Comment by handstitcher/IL on November 19, 2009 at 4:57pm

Thanks for your prayers today. My dad made it through his surgery just fine. He seemed very oriented afterwards, which was my biggest concern. It did really hit him hard though. His last hernia operation was 20 years ago and he bounced right back. He wouldn't listen when I tried to tell him that 20 years makes a big difference in how bodies recover.

BJ, I, too, have learned that it's not worth pointing things out to our forgetful parents. Now when I choose a restaurant I know my father loves, he's so appreciative. I even suggest food I think he'll like (because he loved it the last time) and he thinks I'm fabulous! I told my sister, it's easy to be clairvoyant when you're living deja vu. I'm so glad your Mom is getting some much needed rest, that alone may help her become more oriented.

Comment by B J Elder/WA on November 18, 2009 at 6:56pm

Karin - will be praying for you all tomorrow. You have your hands full right now. I know what you mean about being concerned about the effect that the anesthesia might have on your dad. Sounds like tatting or a book will be good for you to have along. I usually take embroidery work with me on those kinds of "outings". I need things that are basically 'mindless' to do.
We celebrated Mom's 88th today. She was pleased with the dinner choice - having no idea it was food she requested. Just like the restaurant we went to yesterday. It was one she wanted to go to, but had no idea she had requested it. Those are things I don't bother to point out and say, "but you requested it." That just frustrates her more and it really doesn't matter. She is much worse on the short term memory stuff that Dad right now, but he has so many other health things going on to that it was right that he was the one to move. Mom is sleeping through the night now and hasn't napped during the day since Dad moved. I'm so happy for her.

Comment by Joana Simmers/GA on November 18, 2009 at 5:04pm

Handstitcher--I'll be praying for your dad and his surgery tomorrow, and especially for him not to be more confused as a result of all the turmoil. My dad still hasn't forgiven us for leaving him at the hospital, forcing him to get a furniture truck to bring him home all by himself--except for the drunk they picked up out of the middle of the highway. I get tickled about the whole thing which probably irritates my mother even more than Daddy telling the story to everyone does. Anyway, I know what you mean about having something ready to work on--I am usually working on something too large to take into a crowded waiting room or hospital room. My interminable GFG tablerunner has been a lifesaver--took it to the VA yesterday, where DH's brief consult appointment turned into a 3 hour ordeal. On the bright side, we didn't have to drive 3 1/2 hours each way too--this move is proving to be a good decision all around. I don't know that the doctors are at the same level as the ones in Gainesville, FL, but for anything out of the ordinary, they will send him to Augusta, where the Medical College of Georgia staffs the hospital.

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