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It was hard enough learning of my dad's passing and then learning that my brother and I were the last to know. I was told by my cousin, calling from my sister's home where my dad had passed, that there would NOT be a funeral, memorial or celebration of his life as he did not want that and wanted to be cremated. We could live with that. Then I learned from a cousin in Michigan on Thursday that there was going to be a celebration of my dad's life at my sister's on Saturday (yesterday). I phoned my brother to make sure he knew so he could be there. There just was no way I could make it as I am not allowed to fly due to still having a double fusion and the doc doesn't want the neck snapped as could happen with takeoff/landing. My brother went and when I spoke with him this evening, he told me that my son and daughter were there. I found that exceedingly interesting since NO ONE bothered to tell me!

To say that I am hurt, is an understatement. If I had known earlier in the week, I could have driven there. Would have had to stay in a hotel as I am not welcomed in my sister's home and no longer have a desire to stay with an Aunt who I had stayed with before. She would always call me and let me know when my dad was in the hospital, although not always in a timely manner. She has been strangely silent with me and my brother; while all the rest of the family - cousins, aunts, friends of the family, etc., were notified. What hurts even more is that my children did not mention this service to me. Perhaps they thought I knew. Oh well, I can't change what has happened, nor can I change my sister or the rest of the family's attitude towards me. Thankfully, my brother still wishes to keep contact and even he can't believe how they are behaving. Time's like this should bring families together not thrust them apart.

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Comment by Carol Vickers/OH on June 9, 2014 at 6:39am

So sorry, Terri.  May God bless you with healing.

Comment by ranchmom/OR on June 9, 2014 at 6:30am

Terri, my condolences to you.  Sorry to hear of your Dad's passing.    It can be very hard at times to understand why family acts the way they do, trust in your faith to help you through these difficult times.

Comment by Janet/MO on June 8, 2014 at 11:20pm

Terri, I am so sorry to hear that your family has treated you this way!  From this time forward just try to remember the good times you had with your dad and let the rest of the family go out of your life except for your brother & your kids.  My mom always said you could choose your friends, but not your relatives and this is a prime example of that. 

Comment by June Johnson/Wi on June 8, 2014 at 7:29pm

My sincere sympathy to you, Terri; may you hold dear wonderful memories of your father rather than the recent family disappointments.  May God bless you and give you healing.

Comment by Joan on June 8, 2014 at 6:03pm

My sincere condolences.  My heart goes out to you.  I lost my father at age 84 almost ten years ago with the same odd family behavior.  No funeral and a quick cremation.  I still think something was rotten in Denmark with how he died.  He had a lot of money... need we say more?  

Comment by Prairie Quilter Jan/NE on June 8, 2014 at 5:41pm

Family relationships can be crazy.  I'm so sorry things turned out this way.  My condolences.

Comment by Barb/WI on June 8, 2014 at 5:39pm

I am sorry for the loss of your father.  Nothing can undo what has happened, but I hope that in time, your family finds away to heal.

Comment by Carol Ann Hinton on June 8, 2014 at 5:36pm

Terri, I am sorry for your pain ...  Closure will come; you may just have to look longer to find it.  My sympathies.

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