need some cheese for my whine

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Comment by Carol Vickers/OH on February 9, 2013 at 2:28pm

Prayers for both of you. 

Comment by Terry F on February 7, 2013 at 7:02pm

I can't be there for you to lean on, but I can send prayers for you and Jim. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

Comment by Patricia, VA on February 7, 2013 at 4:22pm

This is one way to get rid of your problems, write it out and let it go.  Last year was bad for me I couldn't write about it or talk about it and believe me it is still there.

You said it so well for a lot of us, prayers are with you.

Comment by Its Vic! on February 7, 2013 at 2:29pm

Couldn't help thinking that what I was really reading was a very sincere heartfelt PRAYER....so, I hope you also directed this upwards in G_D's direction.  You know you'll have a lot of supporting prayers, too. 

Let a mountain be a rock....you don't have to and cannot be.... don't have conversations with fear because given an inch fear will take miles and beat you up every mile of the way....Strengthen faith instead cause it is much easier on your health and definitely produces better results.   Given the choice,  just believe and practice faith instead of fear - because Fear = the worst is on its way and soon..and Faith = the best is on its way and soon ( you get to decide your own thought process so choose wisely :)  You are also in charge of changing or even trashing schedules until things get better - enjoy the freedom to let things go in exchange for some peace and just being with your guy for now. 

It is okay to scream, stomp, cry, and generally just say screw it all except for the most important thing in this time of challenge!  You are not a machine, not a super hero, but you are flesh and blood and really feeling that right now so quit being so hard on yourself! 

 As those "creepy" thoughts come to mind, do a little mental gardening, meaning, try to visualize pruning, cutting back the branches of  negative thoughts with the belief and knowledge that positive thoughts  will re-emerge on another day making you stronger, invigorated, wiser, even really happy again. 

 Motto for each day:  Off with the head of crappy emotions producing a frieking mess of my brain and body and On with whatever it takes to discover real strength and calm to walk with sanity in this storm to its end.   

Hoping and praying for you ....and remember that crying is not a negative emotion  :)  You have to!

Comment by Irene Gallway on February 7, 2013 at 11:35am

I hear what your saying and many times I sit in the bathtub with tears rolling down my cheeks from having the majority of the tasks at hand on my shoulders.  It just seems to get too overwhelming at times to cope with but like Linda Harriott said. "crying is a safty valve"  I'll be praying for you and your hubby.

Comment by Mary, Tewksbury MA on February 7, 2013 at 11:16am

Vent all you want, we're good listeners.  Surgery is scary, stressful and overwhelming.   But you can't make life perfect, it is what it is.  

I agree with Barbara, try to relax and keep moving forward.  Try to find a little "me" time.

Hugs and prayers.

Comment by Pam/NY on February 7, 2013 at 9:25am

Elaine, you are so talented with your sewing and your words. I have been in your place more times than I care to think...but, I also know, that I would be more miserable, if I wasn't the one in control. I have learned to give myself a break and I have tried to simplify my surroundings. I TELL others they are going to pick up the minor things or they just don't get done. We are here for all to vent when needed...now wash your face...pull up your boot straps and get through the next week. We'll handle the prayers.

Comment by Carol Ann Hinton on February 7, 2013 at 9:06am

Gotta be the Strong One; gotta know where everything is, how everything works, and how to do everything -- I hear you.  I'm there, with a DH progressing toward the Big A.  Privileged to read your "vent" to all of us, your friends, and hope it has indeed been helpful.  Don't burn yourself up.  Others can do things.  It is not all on your shoulders.  Take Barbara's advice, breathe deep, relax and keep on keepin' on.  Another Big Hug!

Comment by Elaine-mom-nana-wife'iepoo on February 7, 2013 at 8:39am

thanks ladies...it was helpful to just vent...I'd love a spa week or month but I know that's not possible...gotta be the woman...:) I'll keep on keepin on with all the sewing to keep my as sane as possible... ;)

Comment by Barbara Graham on February 7, 2013 at 8:21am

You are carrying a heavy load--and yes, you are tired and terrified and you can't just drop the ball and check into the spa for a week.  Trust me I do know. Being the adult in charge kinda sucks. However, you can't just cry in the shower--is there something beautiful for you to look at? You might need a beauty break--I have a mountain--and if I take five minutes and just stare at it and carefully  breathe in and slowly out, it creates a moment of peace. Laugh at everything just to stay in practice.

Big hugs!

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