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Yes I said it and I have it.  It's been three months sense I've touched my fabrics or even been to a fabric store of any kind.  Even before my moms passing, I was spending time with DD and the grand kids and running to help mom.  These days I work, go home, change clothes, go to moms house and try to get something fixed, painted, cleaned, something so that we can get ready to sell.  I think in the past two months there has only been a couple of days when I didn't go to moms house everyday. 

You would think that having four of us to fix one house it should have been done and sold by now, not so.  Two of these four barely show up and then its so and so did this or said that to the point where I don't want them around to help any more.  And then there's the debate on why he or she shouldn't get their equal share of the profits from the house.  Did I mention that my family is dysfunctional?  There's a reason mom put me incharge of the money equal shares whether they deserve it or not. 

So my aging hair now has white streaks in it from the 25 yes 25 gallons of paint used to paint the inside of the house.  My hands are now chocolate brown from staining cabinets and not because I like to be out in the sun tanning. 

DD stopped by the other evening as I was working on the house and brought the grand kids.  I haven't had time to see them.  I walked out the front door as Aiden was getting out of the car and said hi to him and told him that I had missed seeing him.  He was a little reluctant at first but then came running up to me and told me that he missed me too.  Luckily I had some juice and snacks at the house and Aiden and I had a picnic in the back yard.

Every time I think I get the upper hand on getting this house finished and ready something else pops up.  We are in the home stretch I think.  House painted inside and out. Carpet installed.  New kitchen and bath floors put in.  Kitchen cabinets, ok they would have been done but me using standard staining methods, not a good idea.  Thank the man that invented gel-stain, wipe on, wipe off. 

On the up side of things, working with fabrics a lot has helped convince my brothers and sister that you don't just paint everything white and expect to sell a house for a good price. 

So I'm off to moms house again. Going to try the wipe on, wipe off sealer for the stained cabinets.  If you don't hear from me soon, I probably glued my hands to a wall or something equally stupid! 

Keep the stories coming, I do spend my lunch time at work reading up on the current events everyone else is up to.

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Comment by Katherine V. on August 23, 2016 at 10:20am

I understand.  My mom just passed away a couple of weeks ago.  She left me the contents of the house and now I know why.  She knew I would thoughtfully sort through and disperse.  It has caused issues with my younger brother, but she knew what she was doing.  My problem is the house is in Illinois and I live in Pennsylvania.  I spent the past 1.5 weeks sorting through the entire house that she had lived in for 62 years.  There is a treasure of history in that house.  I have most of it organized and have scheduled an auctioneer to sell what he can.  Luckily, we do not own the house.  it was part of a tenant/farm arrangement.  The house is pretty worn out so I'm sure it will be torn down at some time.  Luckily, I did have some great help, but a lot of it I had to do myself.  I knew what things were.  

Hang in there.  I may have to follow your story.  At least I know I'm not alone. 

Comment by Cheryl A on July 26, 2016 at 7:23am
Unfortunately sometimes life happens that way. I am sorry for your loss and then having to deal with everything else. It is good to take a break and spend time with your DD and GS. You have to recharge your own battery before you burn out. Hope that you start to feel,less overwhelmed soon. Maybe you have done enough with the house. Put it on the market and see what happens? Eventually you will be able to get back to your quilting. Enjoy the sunshine and beauty in each day. Hope you feel better soon.
Comment by LKC on July 23, 2016 at 4:27pm

Life is not always equal. I live 900 miles from the up coming issue. Not sure how it will get done. My mom did say she was ready for small place, but wanted to take the full size/king longarm to the new place. I am not sure if she was joking. She is 90. She did say she is working on the bits and pieces of scrapes and not buying. After spending last two days sweeping our basement from one end to the other I feel for your cleaning. Since I still have sewing supplies in the basement I was still moving it to my room in the attic. So cleaning and painting, you may have to step back and decide when enough is enough. You may not always get top dollar.

Comment by Irene Gallway on July 23, 2016 at 5:35am

It's the same story in most families. "Harry holds the lantern while Mary chops the wood".  But everyone reaps the benefits.  Seen this in my family when Mum died.

Comment by Joanna liguz on July 22, 2016 at 7:27pm

Wow....Way too much on your plate,,,be kind to your self and give your self a break,,in every area of your life,,yes it HAS to be done,,,but in who's time...? Some times we all put pressure on our selves....but try to rest,,,and give your self some well deserved time out!....Pray this is over soon....and NO not everything is white will sell...Color,,,but in neutrals!

Comment by Barbara Graham on July 22, 2016 at 10:30am

You are making headway and doing what you must. I can relate to your comment about the division of labor and funds. My brother was the receiver and I was the worker bee. I have no trouble sleeping at night. Sometimes I hope he feels like he's on a bed of nails but mostly I just pretend I'm an only child now.

Hang in there.

Comment by Dorothy I on July 22, 2016 at 10:21am

Been there, done that! It took my daughter & I one week to completely clean out their home, put things up for auction, ship articles to family members, clean the home, pack a huge U-haul & drive it across the country, dropping belongings off here & there to various family members.  We were bushed when finished, but so glad we were able to do it.   Everybody grieves in their own way. Some by doing what you are doing & others have to distance themselves from the situation.  After my Mother's death, I could only sew on one project that was inspired by memories of her garden which meant that the design just evolved as I sewed on it &  nearly everyday for an hour or two, completed that top but I still can't do the quilting process & it has been over 6 yrs.  I look at it everyday hanging on my quilt stand waiting for quilting inspiration....I'm getting closer but when I do finish it, that means that I won't have her thoughts, ideas & inspiration right there beside me.   I think the next project will need to be Mom-inspired also to keep her near.  Sure do miss her but have absolutely wonderful memories.  

Comment by Prairie Quilter Jan/NE on July 21, 2016 at 7:10am

It seems many families have some who do the work and others who expect equal recompense without lifting a finger.  Sweat equity in family settlements is largely overlooked.  Fair distribution of estates doesn't mean it must be equal, but most parents want things split equally.  I always hope that families would give one another grace and settle estates with no bitterness.  Sadly, it doesn't always turn out that way.  However yours turns out, I hope you find a peace about it.  Pam is right, keep your focus on your mom and not on the siblings, hard as that may be.  Be encouraged that this will all be behind you soon and then you'll hopefully have some time for fabric therapy.  

Comment by Pam/NY on July 21, 2016 at 4:45am
I'm guessing you had the house appraised both ways. As is or redone. Sometimes it's ok not to do everything. I would be doing what you are. Not so much to sell, but it's like doing it for your mom. Breathe.....
Comment by Carol Ann Hinton on July 20, 2016 at 8:06pm

Hang in there!  Things WILL get better eventually.  You do  not have to do everything, all at once.  Just do the best you can.  Thinking good thoughts your way.

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