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Thoughts on becoming a grandmother

I just found out I am to become a grandmother for the first time! My son & his girlfriend (yes, I wish it was his wife - I already sang that song to them 2 years ago when they moved in together but they were not listening - I refuse to punish an innocent baby by withholding my affections because they are not married) are going to be parents in September. I am really excited and thank the Lord, I love his girlfriend as if she were my own daughter - he's had some doozies, but happily, he finally settled with a girl that is a real match for him. I have started collecting books, panels, yarn - you name it!! I wish I knew if it were a girl or boy so I could get started on my mad frenzy of sewing, crocheting, maybe even knitting!! I can't wait!!

My brother & his wife had an open house for their son & his wife who had their first in December - Maeve - she's adorable! And my sister has one grandbaby - another girl - who is now a year old - so in three years, there will be three grandbabies in our family - sure wish my parents were alive to see them all.

Grandparenthood is an opportunity to do a better job the second time around - that's what I think - you don't have the pressures of responsibility for another life that you did with your own kids - and some of us were just naive kids ourselves when we became parents - then, you're raising yourself AND a baby!!

I personally plan on totally enjoying the little one - I left an abusive marriage when my children were 2 & 4 and the stress of trying to support them was almost insurmountable - I look forward to just enjoying this grandbaby as a person without worrying about his/her support.

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Comment by Peggy on March 19, 2009 at 5:22pm
Mary - congratulations of the new baby to come. We just had our fifth. They are wonderful. My one son also lives with his girlfriend. There is nothing you can say or do, except be there to support them. I decided to keep quite and not lose them.
Comment by Mary on March 9, 2009 at 5:34pm
Thanks Carol for the support - I could use a little love in my life!!
Comment by Carol Uhlar on March 8, 2009 at 6:50pm
Congrads, Mary!! You will find that there is no love quite like that of a grandchild.....we thought we loved our kids.....the grandchild love is HUGE. You are in for a very special relationship....ENJOY. :)
Comment by Mary on March 8, 2009 at 9:39am
Lynne - thanks for the offer - I agree with you on the travel - I have a gym only 10 minutes from me & still do nothing. Maybe spring will motivate me!!

Edith - Yes, my parents were like yours - still raising children when their older ones were having their own. I agree that they really missed out- my mother was burned out on kids & I can see why.
Comment by Lynne on March 7, 2009 at 3:41pm
Mary, if we were closer together within the state of Michigan,,, I would exercise with you!! But to drive an hour is out of the question. An hour to a quilt store, is another story!! I have been trying to get this weight under control for years,,, I have lifted weights, race walked and numerous other events of exercise.. its a uphill battle. My bone density tests says I have the bones of a 25 year old,,, so I guess it helps in that part. Have you picked out a baby quilt pattern yet?? Lynne
Comment by Edith Lean/Ont. on March 7, 2009 at 1:28pm
Mary you are in for such fun. You know there is no guarantee even if they are married. I was the oldest in my family and the last to become a grandmother. For the most part I am glad. My oldest son and my brother are only 15 months apart. I think my mother lost out in the grandma department, when my kids were little she still had 5 kids of her own at home. So no time to just be a grandma.
Now I am expecting my second grandchild from my son and his fiancee, (he still isn't divorced from his first wife) but I am becoming as excited as the first, I honestly thought I may not have another, my other two kids don't seem to be on that path as yet. One will be 37 this year, one can always hope.
Anyway have fun planning all the stuff you can do to get ready, We will know the gender of this one soon, since they both have children from previous relationships they want to know. I am waiting until then to decide what I am going to make.
Comment by Mary on March 7, 2009 at 10:57am
Thanks Lynne & Pauline - I am now joining another group & can add it to my list of "titles". Never understood women who think grandmotherhood makes them old - I think it's going to make me younger!! I've gained a lot of weight since my photo on the main page was taken only 2 years ago - I want to be the active, fun grandmother as well as the homey one so I guess this is incentive to get my buns of fat transformed into buns of steel!! Ha Ha
Comment by Lynne on March 7, 2009 at 10:44am
Mary,, Congratulation!!! I totally agree, enjoy this child. I am in the same boat with my only daughter. She is not married, but has a child that will be 10 in April, and just announced they are expecting another in November. Once again, no marriage in sight,, the expectant father, says its just a piece of paper, and its not what he wants. If thats ok with my dd who am I to say its wrong. Yes, its wrong in my eyes,,, but I don't have to live it. I raised my children to make their own choices and decisions,,, so I guess this is hers.

Once again,,, congrats on the new expectant grandbaby. I now have 7 grands,, oldest is to be 10 and youngest will be 2 in September. They are a joy.
Comment by pauline/ky on March 7, 2009 at 10:43am
congatulations Mary. Nothing like the first grandchild!!!! I have 2, a boy 4 1/2 and a girl 2 1/2. They are wonderful. If I would have known how much fun they would be I'd have had grandchildren first. You have heard that saying haven't you? LOL. I know you are soooo excited. I remember that feeling of the first one. Our second was just as exciting. I am happy for you. Just enjoy when the baby comes. Nothing like them. Congrats again.

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