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hello everyone. well things have been happening in my life that I never intended to be happening with me. I have seen more of a hospital room than my own apartment. I hope now that I am home I can get back to doing things just a little more slower and not try to overdo myself.

I know I have messed up two swaps I am in and I do apologize. I am not one of those people who just gather blocks and don't send any out. I am just in some health issues that came up and interrupted my life. do you think I really planned on it. No, I never intended on any of this. I do feel badly and have been crying a lot. I have apologized so many times I don't know what else to do

but I am getting all these blocks out and then well no one will want me around anyway. so I don't know if I will be in any groups because I have a feeling I will be kicked out so what is the need for me to be her. :(  yes it hurts for something I had no control over.

I don't have the easy access to computer as most people do. I don't have cable nor do I have internet in my home. the only way I can get online is if I can get access thru my phone as my modem but there are a lot of times I cant get online nor can I send texts or call. my cell phone company sucks but I don't have the money too go out and buy a new phone thru someone else.

while I was in the hospital my phone was off I couldn't call or get online and the doctors wouldn't let my son bring my computer there. they said I had to much attached to me and icu they didn't allow it. so how was I to let anyone know. I don't have anyones number of anyone in my groups so I couldn't call them and let them know either. so the first day when I got home I waited till the company finally turned my phone back on, I got online and let people know . yes I did that before anything else. I felt so bad and still do that I let people down. I never meant to.

I don't know what to do now except to finish the swaps that I am in. I am almost done with the blocks anyway. I did manage to get that far with them before I spent my summer in the hospital.


but how does one prove and rebuild  trust with swaps. and ladies in the rooms here. I don't want to ousted. but I don't know what to do. yes it does soundlike I am begging and yes I am. I do like being In the groups and learning new things. the ladies on here are the only ones I have to take about with quilting who understand for my family understands nothing. they all think my sewing stuff is just junk.

so ladies please give me input on how to handle and deal with things from now on. I know I wont be in any swaps till I know I can complete them on time and feeling better. but how do I get the ladies to trust me again?????I

one thing I don't understand is that I was bashed before I could get online and explain where I was or what happened to me. the ladies just though I was ignoring them when I couldn't even get online  heck I couldn't

even be home. how do they think I felt. how do they think I feel now. I already felt bad before I read the posts but then after I read some posts I felt even wors. omg I have cried so much I never knew my eyes coud do that and they are so red..

you ladies think I don't hurt, you think I don't feel bad . you think I am going to do nothing about it..  well I do hurt and I do feel bad and I do cry and yes you will see you will get mail.

so if anyone could give me ideas on how to get thru all this let me know. for I do still want to be in groups just maybe not do swaps for awhile but I would like to maybe sometime next year.

so let me know ladies. and thanks for listening to me. since I really don't have anyone but the ladies here in these groups to talk to.

have a great September


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Comment by ra57 on September 7, 2013 at 8:44am

Lisa- are there any quilt groups in your area- it's a great way to meet with friends and sew , learn new "tricks", etc. The quilt alongs are wonderful also- you can pick whatever fabric you want (or can afford) without worrying about pleasing anyone but yourself. Also take care of yourself. Yes swaps are fun but very time consuming and not to mention expensive.  It's so easy to  want to join in  on everything and then get so caught up that you spend all your time just doing swaps and not on projects that you also want to do for yourself- ask me - I know and I'm not in that many swaps or groups! 

Comment by Amanda Best on September 6, 2013 at 10:31pm

Very good advice, Sandy! Quilt Alongs are great for making friends, sharing progress, asking questions, etc.. Plus there is no deadlines, it is a win-win.

Comment by Sandy on September 6, 2013 at 8:00pm

Hi Lisa, I hope that you continue on in good health. My advice is to join Quilt-a-Longs instead of Swaps. You get to sew along with others with only yourself to answer to! It's really fun. Check out the groups Grandmother's Choice and Bonnie Hunter's Mystery Quilt. You could also do a search on the internet, there are lots of them.  Good Luck.

Comment by Sandy B /AUS on September 6, 2013 at 6:49pm

Lisa do not worry, just get well. Being that ill can affect your emotional equilibrium so any extra stress is not needed. Your friends will understand and wait for the mail - I love mail! LOL

Just keep on taking one step after the other and as one 100 yo lady said take another breath. You are home, smile and enjoy, smell those roses and wonder at the colours of your coming autumn. These are the things I try to do when life gets to me. :o)

Comment by Shannon, ON on September 6, 2013 at 5:42pm

no one should be bashing you for not having control over things. i would report that to ct. quilters are NORMALLY pretty kind and accepting. i agree with PQ. take the high road and ignore those comments. just do your best. that is all any one of us can do. maybe lessen your commitments for now. make it more doable. :o) be well.

Comment by Prairie Quilter Jan/NE on September 6, 2013 at 1:51pm

Lisa, I'm glad you are home after your hospital stay.  Hopefully your health will continue to improve.  Personally, I think you've apologized enough.  It also sounds like you are doing your best to get things done.  Usually folks are very forgiving once they've heard an explanation.

 If you are still experiencing unkind comments after you've apologized and explained and sent out your swaps, then I don't know what else you can do.  I would resist responding unkindly to the negative messages you've gotten.   Most folks understand unexpected health problems that are out of your control.  I would think you'd be getting some apologies, but if not, just take the high road and find other groups or other friends.  

I agree that once you've fulfilled these current swap obligations, it might be best to take a break from them until your situation improves.  It will greatly relieve your guilt and the pressure.  It sounds like you don't need any more stress in your life.  

Take care and rest up.  I wish you better days ahead.  

Comment by JB on September 6, 2013 at 11:34am

Lisa, I am sorry you are experiencing issues with your health.  I know it is hard to say no, but joining swaps can be stressful as well as fun.  I came to this site for the social connection it gives because I am not able to join a local quilting guild for various reasons.  I find popping in to a few groups gives me a connection with people I can call "friends" (even though I haven't met any in person, yet) and fills a hole in my social life.  Even if I don't do any swaps, I feel the support of the members of these groups. I wish you well. JB

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